These Nuts, by Ninja Sex Party

These Nuts

by Ninja Sex Party

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Encephale Really awesome album ! With a lot of different styles. Favorite track: Sports Anthem.

syncrossus I find this album a bit weaker than its predecessors. The level of polish we've come to expect from NSP since Cool Patrol is there and the tunes near the beginning and the end of the album are very catchy, but I felt the middle section was weaker. In particular, Death Metal is frustrating because it's a full-length rehash of the idea in *Shredded Metal*, *Dubstep* and *Cookies!*. *Behind the Mask* is funny, but again, it's two minutes of forgettable music with a jumpscare in the middle. Favorite track: Get Ready (To Get Ready).

ronzakpro I was blown away by These Nuts. Truly, the wait was so worth it. These Nuts brightened my day with its tasty jams. Lately, a lot of bad has happened, but These Nuts helped shine a little light.

All jokes aside, this album is great. It feels like early NSP given an amazing glow up to the sound. As a long time fan, I really love all of the references to their previous albums they snuck in. This album also has a tropical island feel to many of the songs. Favorite track: Dance 'Til You Stop.

hanchogrande Man, These Nuts were worth the wait! I really enjoy These Nuts! Favorite track: Death Metal.

agrabren It feels good in my ears. Favorite track: Dance 'Til You Stop.

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Full Digital Discography

11

releases

Get all 11 Ninja Sex Party releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of These Nuts, The Very, Very, Very, Very Classy Acoustic Album, Level Up, The Prophecy, Under the Covers, Vol. III, Cool Patrol, Under the Covers Volume II, Under The Covers, and 3 more. , and , .

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1.	Intro (These) 00:39	info	buy track
2.	Get Ready (To Get Ready) 03:05	lyrics	buy track
The lights go down, the crowd starts to scream You can feel it in the air, electric energy We’re revving up our engines, and the dam’s about to burst I’ve just got a couple of emails that I need to knock out first We’re all backstage ‘Bout to start the show Just gotta do a few things Then we’re ready to go So get ready…to be ready…to get ready Cause we’re almost about to rock We’re gonna make you scream Eventually Just wait and see Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready We’ll be on stage in a second, just a few things we gotta do Gotta make the setlist, wash the guitars, and bathe the entire crew Gonna play with all my Legos and then we’ll eat some snacks Drop Ninja Brian off for his Brazilian wax Drink some gas so we can play real fast And then you better hold on to all of your ass! We’re gonna crush this show Just a few more steps Nothing says rock like meticulous prep So get ready…to be ready…to get ready Cause we’re almost about to rock We’re gonna chill your spine And blow your mind All in due time Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready Ladies and gentleman, are you ready to get FUCKING DESTROYED? We are nearly prepared to begin preparations for our final soundcheck of the evening, so please file out of the auditorium while we reset the stage. Thank you! For those about to about to rock (ROCK) Please hang tight while I find my socks (SOCKS) Gonna crack your skull like an aftershock Just gotta call my broker and sell some stocks So get ready…to be ready…to get ready Cause we’re almost about to rock We’re gonna melt your face Through time and space At an appropriate pace Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready Now be ready…to be ready…to get ready
3.	I Own A Car 02:29	lyrics	buy track
Oh sorry to interrupt your beach party everyone Just thought I’d stop by with my….CAR?!?!?! Four wheels, one key I must be truly blessed Life is a school And I’m passing the test Two working headlights Four functional seats And get a load of these pedals That I can push with my feet There’s an AM radio That kicks you right in the ass So turn down the treble baby And crank up the bass! I own a car. CAR! I own a car, woman! The cup holder holds anything as long as it’s a cup I own a car! CAR! CAR! CAR! Look out, it’s beige The coolest kind of brown A human can handle Thank god that you’re sitting down Check out these windows, they’re totally clear So you can watch in amazement as stuff gets more near Do you believe in miracles? We’re shooting off like a star Who needs a license, mama When you’ve got a car? I own a car! CAR! (Listen good) I own a car, ya turkeys! The engine is a mystery and no one knows how it works I own a car! CAR! CAR! Guess what I own boys! Is it a phone? No! Is it a car? No…oh yes, actually The boys guessed that much faster than I thought the boys would guess I own a car! CAR! I own a car!
4.	Let's Save The Earth 03:33	lyrics	buy track
The earth has so many problems But I know that we can solve them, all right We just need to work together And we’ll start to make it better tonight The forests will grow anew The oceans will gleam their crystal blue And when our work is done There’s only one question I have for you Is your mom single? Is your mom free tonight? The stars are shining The moon is bright As my and your mom’s souls unite Let’s save the earth… Let’s save the earth… Let’s save the earth… It’s up to our generation And people from every nation, get mad Let’s make sure we all recycle Like your mom could cycle in a new dad We’re emitting more and more greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. The polar ice caps are melting. Global temperatures are rising at an alarming rate. We need to reduce, reuse, recycle every day. Do you think you could eventually learn to love me as a father instead of just as your karate instructor? Is your mom single? Is your mom free tonight? The planet’s struggling May I be snuggling Your mom by candlelight? We could ride away On a horse and carriage Would she be down with an open marriage? So hear my plea Keep the planet clean Make my balls less blue and the trees more green Think globally, act locally Think globally, act locally Think globally, act locally (Let me date your mom) Think globally, act locally (Let me date your mom) Think globally, act locally (I wanna date your mom) One single date, I’ll pick her up at 8. (Let me date your mom…please)
5.	Ninja Sex Party, Tom Cardy - Dance 'Til You Stop 03:25	lyrics	buy track
All my friends are going out To a house in town, let’s party now We’re gonna join the crowd And make the DJ proud, let’s turn it out We enter the house, there’s a vibe in the air Lots of fun, talk and laughter, people smiling everywhere It’s been a long week and I need to unwind This party has alcohol of every kind There’s people in the pool, beers on ice, The music is groovin’ and they’re dimming the lights Everybody starts dancing and I roll up my sleeves …I want to leave So dance ‘til you stop ‘Til you want to go home This party is great but not nearly as great As being alone It’s Saturday night I just want to have fun So many beautiful people And I don’t want to talk to a single one I forgot to mention I hate parties every time I give them a try Interacting with a stranger Makes me want to run and hide, and also die I had two sips of beer and a couple of snacks Stood against the wall and had a panic attack A guy comes up and he wants me to vape This is my hell and I cannot escape He talks about girls and his trip to France It feels like my body’s being eaten by ants I get a spam call from the cable company I’m sorry I’ve got to take this, it’s a one-time offer and they give me 10% off the dish if I order at the same as the cable and if I connect it to my wi-fi… So dance ‘til you stop ‘Til you wanna go home This party is great but it’s 7:08 And I just gotta go, go, go It’s Saturday night I just wanna have fun So many beautiful people And I didn’t talk to single one So many beautiful people singing “We’re all having fun!” Beautiful people singing “We won’t stop until we see the sun!” Everybody’s singing, but I see one singing a different song Tom: Why won’t they stop? I really want to go home And all these beautiful people are making me feel like a fugly little gnome Danny: I feel the same way Tom: Really? Danny: Yeah, I hate parties Tom: I hate them too Michelle: Play some music! Tom: Oy, I’m not the goddamn DJ, Michelle! I told you, I got my face stuck in this big bear head and you and your friends just started dancing around me Danny: Oh my god, I hate it when that happens Tom: It happens to me almost Danny & Tom: Every day Tom: Dude do you want to hang out? Danny: We could, or…we could Danny & Tom: Stand at opposite ends of this party stare at our phones for half an hour and then never talk to each other again Michelle: Play Lady Gaga! Tom: WE’RE HAVING A MOMENT Danny: MICHELLE, YOU’RE KILLING ME! Tom: Oh my God, another chorus! Partygoers: LET’S BREAK STUFF! Danny: I’m freaking out Partygoer: Is that Dr. Who? Tom: This door doesn’t open! Michelle: Oh my god I’m SO drunk right now Danny: Oh, thank god, a cat. THE CAT’S DEAD! Cat: meow Danny: No, he’s all right, he’s all right Michelle: If I don’t get any more attention I’ll set myself on fire!
6.	My Pet Python 00:36	lyrics	buy track
I bought a pet python, he’s big and he’s huge And he’s my very best friend in the world I leave his cage open ‘cause we use the honor system And I know he’ll never get out-OH MY GOD
7.	Death Metal 02:36	lyrics	buy track
When we were writing this album Our manager called and said we need a hit He said “Your music’s not current enough for the kids, so write a death metal song” We said “Heck yeah, you got it!” So I got out my beach ball And my Hawaiian shirt with little coconuts on the sleeves And wrote this brutal jam while the tall palm trees Began to sway gently in the island breeze Death Metal, the metal of death Better drink that margarita before your last breath A taste of Satan from our rock armada An umbrella of evil in your piña colada Death Metal! Put on your leis Surfin’ waves as your rotting mortal soul decays Lay back in the sand and drift slowly away And renounce your god’s existence at the seafood buffet Our manager called us back and said “Hey guys, it’s your manager Brent. This definitely isn’t death metal, it sounds more like Jimmy Buffet.” We laughed at the way he’s always joking around And then we tuned our ukuleles to get that dark sound We were in the metal festival that night To play with some bands, it was such a great list Like Demigod Slut and Chasm of Filth And Maggot Desecration and Graves of Piss STEEL DRUM SOLO! DEFILE ME WITH THAT SAX! Whoa, easy on those coconut shrimp, Jerry Death metal, the metal of death Tanning lotion on corpse paint needs a high SPF Playing frisbee all day, you’ll be running like a cheetah And sacrificing goats with a sweet señorita Death metal, choke on our scum Thanks for joining us today for all our tropical fun I have to say this vile concert went well Now suck this music tribute to our dark lord in hell What the heck was that?
8.	Sports Anthem 02:14	lyrics	buy track
“Well here we are, it’s the championship game. There are two seconds left on the clock, and it looks like it’s going to all fall on the shoulders of this one man.” You’ve been training your whole life for this day Don’t let this stadium of people take your focus away It’s all come down to this one play Whoa, whoa HEY! This is the moment you’ve been waiting for One more win could open every door It’s all on you we really want you to score Whoa, whoa…so… DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP! DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP, FUCK IT UP!!! Can you believe how many people are here You must be filled with so much doubt and fear No big deal, it’s just your life and career SO DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP! DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP DON’T FUCK IT UP! Ok, here it is, my big moment. Everyone’s counting on me. Focus. Focus. This is for you, dad, I love you. Here we go! …Whoops. YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP YOU FUCKED IT UP! I’m bad at sports! YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP, FUCKED IT UP!!! Nice!
9.	Seatbelts! 00:34	lyrics	buy track
And now, a very important PSA from Ninja Sex Party Seatbelts! Don’t use ‘em Seatbelts! They’re for losers Seatbelts! Such a scam You don’t need a seatbelt because you believe in yourself Seatbelts! So 1980s Seatbelts! Don’t drink the Kool Aid Seatbelts! Such a turn off It’s time to stand up to the man, also smoking is good
10.	Nut Heat 02:21	lyrics	buy track
She was a West End girl I was a boy from city Her hair was golden curls And boy was she pretty All the guys at the malt shop Said she’s out my league But they don’t know The way she looks at me I was just a regular guy Much too shy to even say hi Then she turned to me and cried Ooh gimme gimme (Give it, give it to me) Gimme that Nut Heat Gimme gimme gimme (Things are moving a little fast) Ooh gimme that Nut Heat Ooh gimme gimme (Give it, give it to me) Ooh gimme that Nut Heat Gimme gimme gimme Gimme that Nut Heat (I guess she likes me) Now it’s five years later Me and that girl got married And you know there were plenty of suitors Better luck next time, Gary (Aw, darn it to pieces!) Couldn’t go to work, couldn’t walk ten feet Cause of her unquenchable thirst for my hot Nut Heat She’s my perfect girl Skiddly bop ah doop-ah deep-ah dop-ah doo bop doo! 300,000 years in the future, long after the age of humankind has ended and the age of machines has begun, the world is controlled by several warring factions of artificial intelligence all in competition to control the precious few natural resources still present on planet Earth. The seas have been poisoned, the skies darkened, and the quest for precious Magnesium has become the dominant pursuit of all known beings on the planet. A rogue battalion of human resistance fighters live underground amidst the few remaining bio-organisms and all have but one energy source remaining: NUT HEAT. And all the guys at the malt shop! Bop!
11.	Behind The Mask 02:16	lyrics	buy track
I’ve known Ninja Brian Since we were both were babies I’ve seen the sensitivity beneath those deep blue eyes Behind the mask Lies the soul of an artist He understands What it means to be a friend Mutual respect has been the backbone of our friendship He’s just misunderstood and shy (what a guy) But behind the mask Is the heart of an angel Let’s take a peek inside his mind right now… (Brian’s intimate thoughts) Behind the mask Lives the spirit of a songbird A gentle lamb on the mountainside of trust Behind the mask Dwells a poet and a scholar He understands what it means to be My best friend
12.	Dig Ol' Bick 02:22	lyrics	buy track
I got a dig ol’ bick Gonna tuck you hard fonight Your gonna blap my salls around What a hot delight Take my hong in your schland Go to town on your man Gonna say it in a way only you understand I got a dig ol’ bick Gonna jash your smunk tonight Lover you got that sex appeal Your eyes are telling me how you feel I’d love to give you what you want But there’s so many people at this restaurant I was just about to begin When a priest, three nuns, and your mom walked in So now I’ll speak in our secret code That only you and I could possibly know I got a dig ol’ bick Gonna tuck you hard fonight Your gonna blap my salls around What a hot delight Take my hong in your schland Go to town on your man Gonna say it in a way only you understand I got a dig ol’ bick Gonna jash your smunk tonight You like my bace between your foobs I’m all nice and clean cause I paved my shubes You and I make a sexy team So break out the berries and the tub of cripped wheam Now tell me something Which would turn you on? Should I dress like the mench fraid tonight Or the very tall hell-wung leprechaun I got a dig ol’ bick And we’re gonna lake move tonight You got a bine ass footy And you know I’m gonna reat it tright, tright, tright Put my thack on your sighs Got my hog on the rise Gonna say it in a way only you recognize I got a dig ol’ bick And I’m gonna how you plard tonight SUITAR GOLO! Ok, you look confused. Let me walk you through my process. What I do is I switch the first letter or two from the words in each phrase. Like if wanted to say “peanut butter,” for example, I would say “peanut butter”….wait….
13.	Galaxy Hamster 03:31	lyrics	buy track
Deep in the suburbs of New Jersey In the basement of the Sexbang house You are the hero with the heart of a god Yet you’re barely the size of a mouse You can see the nightly news on TV As you race on the wheel of your cage Watching as society all goes to shit Your tiny body filling with rage Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster! Your training is almost complete Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster! Now unleash your powerful scream (squeak) Ever since the battle of Gerbulon V The galaxy was ripped in twain The rodents of the Northern Alliance were called To defend those who had not been slain The fates of the goldfish and snakes had aligned United by a common foe To banish the hamster king from his command But one hero could save the throne Only the dead have seen the end of war! Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster! A savior of all those who squeak Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster! You store all your wrath in your cheeks Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster! Avi: Dan, are you playing with your small pets? Danny: No dad! Don’t come in my room! (Choking sound) …Galaxy Hamster? Sweet hamster you have saved the galaxy Fill your cheeks with sunflower seeds of victory You did not stop ‘til your mission was through You just died of natural causes at the old age of two Ride on the wings of a rainbow You’re free to go fly To a cage in the sky Dad, I need a new Galaxy Hamster!
14.	The Boner Of Peace (Part III of the Boner Trilogy) 04:50	lyrics	buy track
I see you there alone Sitting oh so sadly, staring out of your window Wondering why the lives we lead are filled with so much pain Well please let me see if I can help you in my own way In my own way Any time you’re down and out May I extend a boner? Could you use a friendly wang To help you get to sleep The printout of your life is fading May I provide the toner? A righteous doinker worthy of a queen The Boner of Peace The Boner of Peace I turn on the news It seems as if the whole world is dealing with the blues We’re on the brink of total war It’s a fight for all our souls But then my tip nudges the president’s hands off the nuclear controls Off the nuclear controls We’ve gotta bridge a great divide May I suggest my boner? Could it be the olive branch That plants a healing seed Let me erect a flag of kindness A demilitarizing zoner When the gap of hate and fear is tight you need The Boner of Peace The Boner of Peace One love. One hand. One heart. One Boner. One soul. One earth. One life. One Boner. One song. One voice. No reason. One Boner. One mind. One spirit. One light. One Boner. One love. One hand. One heart. One Boner. One soul. One earth. One life. One Boner. One song. One voice. No reason. One Boner. One mind. One spirit. One light. One Boner. One love. One hand. One heart. One Boner. One soul. One earth. One life. One Boner. One song. One voice. No reason. One Boner. One mind. One spirit. One light. One Boner. We are merely vessels for God’s light.
15.	Outro (Nuts) 00:40	info	buy track

credits

released March 8, 2024

All songs recorded at Santa Monica Recordings (Los Angeles, CA), Taurus Studios (Toronto, Ontario), and Sonic Ranch (El Paso, TX)

All photos by Sela Shiloni
Album design by The Lazerhorse

©℗ 2023 Ninja Sex Party Inc
All rights reserved
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws

Special Thanks:

Danny and Brian would like to thank every single person on the planet Earth throughout all of human history for being an NSP fan. That’s right, everyone. Yes, past and future too. Don’t ask us how we know, we just do. Unfortunately we are not able to take questions at this time. Thanks everyone!

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Ninja Sex Party Los Angeles, California

Comedy band Ninja Sex Party has but one goal: To take your body sweetly by the hand and then rock its face off with amazing music. The two members, Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian, are not only masterful lovers but also musicians of the highest caliber imaginable by you. You will love this band, because if you don't, it's your ass on the line. ... more

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